Last week, I found out I was pregnant with my second child. It wasn’t planned — and yet, once the shock settled, I felt a quiet joy begin to grow. I started imagining our future as a family of four. I felt lucky, surprised, and yes, still a bit overwhelmed — but happy.
Just a few days later, I began spotting. Then bleeding. At 5 weeks and 2 days, everything shifted.
I found myself in waiting rooms, answering questions I didn’t know how to answer. “Last menstrual period?” “Any pain?” “Are you experiencing a miscarriage?” Or, as the doctor gently put it: “It could be an incomplete miscarriage, or it might be a cervical ectopic pregnancy.”
So now, I wait. I am in limbo. Not pregnant but without a clear diagnosis. In the unknown.
And between ultrasounds and lab tests, I’m also a working mom. I’ve joined meetings. Replied to emails. Put on a composed face while my heart very confused about the roller coaster of emotions I had just been through. All while coming home to my toddler, who reminds me of joy, presence, and how deeply life can stretch in different directions at once.
Why Am I Writing This?
Because no one talks about this enough.
Not the early bleeding. Not the emotional limbo. Not how it feels to carry uncertainty while also carrying a laptop bag or a toddler or both. And definitely not how common — and deeply personal — miscarriage actually is.
We don’t need to whisper about loss. Or hide our pain so others stay comfortable.
If Nest Between Nations is about anything, it’s about creating a home for real stories — across cultures, across womanhood, across the messiness and beauty of motherhood and modern life.
This might not be the story I imagined writing. But it’s mine. And if you’re reading this from your own waiting place — please know you’re not alone. You don’t have to be polished. You don’t have to be strong all the time.
You’re allowed to pause. You’re allowed to grieve and not have the words for it yet.
You’re still enough.
